Growing 10,000 Kilograms Every Day, I Evolved Into a Mythical Beast – Audiobook Review That Will Melt Your Brain (And Maybe Your Scales)
Hey hey hey, fellow audiobook addicts and chaotic fiction lovers! 😎
So today, we’re diving headfirst into possibly the most ridiculous—and weirdly inspiring—audiobook I’ve listened to this year: “Growing 10,000 Kilograms Every Day, I Evolved Into a Mythical Beast.”
Yes. That’s the actual title. And no, I wasn’t hallucinating from too much cold brew.
What Even Is This Book?!
Okay, picture this: You wake up one day and suddenly you’re gaining 10,000 kilograms every. single. day. Not muscle, not fat—just MASS. Bulk. Girth. You’re basically becoming the final boss in a video game where physics is just a suggestion.
And it gets weirder.
Our protagonist (who starts as a scrawny guy with anxiety and a suspicious obsession with lizards) slowly morphs into a colossal dragon-wolf-phoenix hybrid with laser eyes, emotional damage, and surprisingly good comedic timing.
Audiobook Narration: Pure Gold or Unhinged Rant?
Let’s talk narration. The voice actor (shoutout to a possibly sleep-deprived but passionate voice wizard named Darren Von Whispersnort) doesn’t just read the story—he becomes the beast. The growls? Intense. The transformation scenes? Absolutely primal. The inner monologue? It’s like if Deadpool and Godzilla had a podcast.
Honestly, I had to pause every 5 minutes because I was laughing so hard I almost pulled a muscle I didn’t know existed.
🎧 “I was on the subway when the beast started monologuing about existential dread, and I had to pretend I was coughing to hide my wheezing laughter.” – Comment by user @FeralTurnip420
Is There a Plot? Kind Of?
So yeah, there’s technically a plot. Our boy is hunted by shadowy government entities, corporate villains who want to harvest his scales for crypto mining (??), and a rival mythical beast that used to be his high school gym teacher.
There are training arcs. There are betrayal arcs. There’s even a romantic subplot with a psychic flamingo named Gloria.
But none of that matters. The vibes carry this audiobook. If you’re the kind of person who yells “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” while smiling ear to ear—this is for you.
SEO Juice Time – Because Google Deserves to Laugh Too 😌
So if you’re Googling any of the following:
- “funniest audiobook 2025”
- “audiobook where protagonist turns into monster daily”
- “what the hell did I just listen to and why did I love it”
- “dragon audiobook but make it chaotic”
- “audiobooks that make me question reality while enjoying every second”
Congratulations. You’ve found your new obsession.
Final Thoughts Before I Evolve Too
Would I recommend “Growing 10,000 Kilograms Every Day, I Evolved Into a Mythical Beast”?
YES.
Is it coherent? Nope.
Is it brilliant in its absurdity? Absolutely.
Should you listen to it at 2x speed while doing leg day at the gym? Only if you want to unleash your inner kaiju.
And now, I’ll leave you with one final fake comment that sums it all up:
🤯 “I started this audiobook as a man. I finished it as a demigod with emotional baggage and six wings. 10/10.” – user @MythicalMom69
Pro Tip: Bring snacks. You’ll be here for a wild ride.
Now tell me—what’s the weirdest audiobook you ever listened to? Drop it in the (fictional) comments below! 😜